班主任寄语

 郑同学 Winne Zheng

2024届宏润博源毕业生

With every step forward, even if blindfolded, what is touched is solid ground.

In the spring of 2021, I arrived at SHBS. Coming from a public school, adapting to an entirely new course format was a significant challenge. Moreover, during the first week of the new term, the so-called "shopping week," I didn't dare to change any of my classes. At that time, my very shallow understanding of the American high school system came solely from a few teenage campus movies, which was clearly insufficient.

After timidly, cautiously, and aimlessly finishing my first semester here, I discovered many new things in a daze because the school required us to participate in various activities: career week, college guidance, clubs... Whether familiar or unfamiliar, wanted to do or not wanted to do. In any case, in the marathon of endless activities, I gradually became attracted to this brilliant life. The high frequency of activities and the low cost of participation naturally integrated me into it, and I don't even remember when I started not being afraid of participating in activities anymore.

However, adaptation was just the beginning.

I remember my college counselor Shannon told me, "You are now just in a box. To jump out of this box, you need a ladder, a tall ladder, so you can see the 'confusion' you are in from another dimension. Then you will find that the 'insurmountable' was just a trivial matter." But back then, stuck in that tiny box, I felt like a dot on the paper, wandering infinitely along that line.

Shrouded by the pandemic from 2021 to 2022, various uncertainties dispelled my plan to take the TOEFL exam. In fact, all issues about college application were twisted into a crumpled paper by this unease. The reduced campus life made me more afraid, and online learning felt almost unreal, as classes and activities had to be conducted through screens. Worse, the indefinite postponement of offline exams made me lose urgency and confidence.

However, fortunately, the inclusive environment gave me platforms and hope. Recommended by a teacher, I hosted an art festival. Not only that, but I also became the class president of the administrative class, responsible for organizing various class-based activities. In my junior year, I became a member of the student council. I was able to serve as the head of the Community Democracy Building Platform - "Beichen Forum," helping students and the school to communicate effectively, aiming for a better campus construction. Whether online or offline, fulfilling my duties became an important way for me to feel my self-worth. In this process, I not only gained valuable experiences but also understood the seemingly insurmountable difficulties of those positions, which indeed required some effort and accumulation, but were not as terrifying as I imagined.

I used to hide in the crowd, but there was always a gentle voice behind me, pushing me forward, making me one of them.

As the shadows of the pandemic gradually dissipated in 2023, with the countdown to the application season, my TOEFL score was released. But, standardized test scores are just one of many factors. In the tight application process, choosing schools, writing essays, and taking exams went hand in hand. I am not a test-oriented student. Without high standardized test scores, my application season started just like that.

To find schools that matched my philosophy, I participated in many college-related activities during my junior and the first half of my senior years. There were often admissions officers giving presentations at school, and because of the many opportunities for interaction, I had very fruitful interactions with admissions officers. Outside school, I also attended liberal arts college fairs. Various lectures allowed me to understand colleges from the perspectives of admissions officers and current students, including the campus environment, unique culture, and educational philosophy. After learning about the advantages of small-class teaching and the closely-knit alumni network of liberal arts colleges, I longed to attend such a private university. However, whether it was large universities or liberal arts, public or private, I was still very hesitant about my application strategy. In this process, Shannon and Principal Chris gave me a lot of insightful advice. For example, understanding the admission strategies of different schools was more necessary than summarizing past achievements. Sometimes the intensity of competition depends not only on the school's ranking but more importantly, on whether the school's environment and philosophy match. Moreover, essays that matched activities were an indispensable part of the application.

When organizing my activity list, I found that school activities added a lot of color to my application. Throughout the process, I learned not only how to organize a large event from start to finish, how to arrange different roles, how to cooperate in a team. I gained something more important, which was confidence I never had before. The me who used to hide in the crowd only knew that not standing out was safe, but that was a huge mistake for the current me. I used to think those positions were prepared for those who were confident, but in fact, everyone is just an ordinary person; no one starts off knowing everything. In the process of practice, I became more fascinated with work and discovered a great interest in helping others, which led me to eventually choose to study psychology.

In my ED (I) application, I chose a liberal arts college but was deferred to the RD round. Then came a disappointing EA batch, where the most frequent word I saw in my emails was "sorry." When choosing ED (II), I was torn between several different universities. Fortunately, the experience of the college application department and my experiences at college fairs allowed me to weigh my options from a more comprehensive perspective. On an ordinary morning, I got up, opened my email, and casually opened my portal, having lost the sense of tension. However, what I saw was not "Thank you," not "Sorry," not "Unfortunately," but "Congratulations."

I took a screenshot and posted the photo in my college consulting group, then closed my laptop. Everything was unexpectedly plain, perhaps because so many previous wishes had been dashed, leaving me a bit tired. But what followed was a deep touch, a feeling of effort being recognized. Those nights spent studying for exams, those moments busy with school work, those ordinary yet significant days... Like a small branch only looking upwards, one day when looking back, the branches and leaves are lush, spreading out a gentle, greennet, catching those bits and pieces of sunlight.

At some point, I found that ladder. Perhaps it was step by step, groping blindly with my eyes covered, whether it was language exploration or interest discovery, whether it was personal growth or cognitive change, all were naturally growing, bit by bit building a ladder unique to me, allowing me to jump out of the box that trapped me, to look up at the further, azure sky.

I am very grateful to the school's teachers, especially Chloe, who, when I anxiously told her about my poor exam results, still told me that exams do not represent everything, scores are not all. Also, the project activities after the AP exams made me feel the joy of learning. I appreciate her support, which confirmed my desire to continue studying the relevant major. I would also like to thank the school's college counselor Shannon, who always encouraged me when I lost confidence. Principal Chris not only gave me a lot of valuable advice but also told me to follow my heart, take it easy. The school's faculty and teaching staff are very inclusive and enthusiastic, their help has given me strength, allowing me to better explore myself.

The application season is complicated, diverse, but it is also a voyage that learns to sail with the wind and waves, an adventure, a process of dialogue and reconciliation with oneself. It is thrilling but fun, because no one knows what will happen next.