I am a person with diverse interests, such as painting, crafts, horseback riding, ice skating... I enjoy trying out various novel things. I have a special fondness for small animals and have rescued quite a few stray animals. In terms of academic subjects, I’m fond of biology and chemistry, as well as the fields derived from these subjects, such as nutrition, botany, organic chemistry, and so on.

After the application process was over, I experienced a relatively relaxed month. It seemed like I had forgotten that I was waiting for a certain college to become my destination to be honest. One morning, as I was packing my bags to go home for winter break, I was immersed in the joy of having finished the exhausting first semester of twelfth grade. At that moment, I hadn't realized that my future had already been determined. The acceptance letter came quite suddenly, before the expected release date. While I was tired from the fatigue of packing, I casually clicked on the red dot in my email and saw the email that decided my future path. In that moment, looking at the big "Congratulations" on the page, I should have been ecstatic as if I had achieved great success, but I wasn't. There was only a faint sense of relief, like settling dust, but more so, a dream-like feeling of unreality. My wish to get enrolled in the ED round  had come true, although the path to realizing that wish was full of twists and turns.

I used to have a rebellious mindset. Growing up in a typical traditional education system, I seemed to be different from most students. Instead of prioritizing grades, following teachers' orders, and meeting my parents' expectations, I always did the opposite. Perhaps it was a way for me to vent my dissatisfaction with life in a highly youthful manner, or maybe it was a way to mark the meaning of life with bold rebellion. Yet I didn't find any sense of achievement in doing so. On the contrary, I often felt deeply confused, about the future and myself. For me at that time, escaping was the best way to protect myself from the invasion of this sense of insecurity. Over time, laziness, sensitivity, irritability... These negative labels firmly attached themselves to me. I willingly accepted them, I didn't care what I had become, I didn't want to change the situation, or rather, I was afraid of change. I was trapped in a self-imposed cage.

The turning point came when I initially resisted transferring to an international school. I was afraid that a completely new environment would make me even more isolated, and I would rather continue to stay in an environment I didn't like but was familiar with. However, most of these thoughts disappeared after visiting the school. I still remember being in the reception room, after touring the entire school, I had a long conversation with Principal Liu at SHBS. Everything I heard and saw felt fresh and exciting to me. Hobbies were not considered a waste of time here, being different and unique was not suppressed, and grades were no longer the sole criteria for judgment... I felt that in this environment, I would be accepted and supported.

（宏润博源校园）

I came in the preparatory year. I remember when I first arrived, I was full of curiosity about this environment and had great expectations for my future. However, deep down I felt more uneasy than anything else. It's not easy to integrate into a completely new environment, and soon I felt lonely and lost due to language barriers and social collisions. I kept asking myself in my heart, "Do I really belong here?" "Can I really adapt to this new environment?"

At that time, I felt that the senior students in the campus were all outstanding and unique, with their own directions, plans, and futures. As I looked up to them, I had no idea what major I liked or what kind of person I wanted to become in the future. I only knew that I had a talent for drawing, but I was unsure if I had enough talent and creativity to pursue it as a career. I also wanted to be like them.

Back then, I often looked back and remembered the "underachiever" label that had followed me from elementary school to junior high. Teachers said I was rebellious, disobedient, and lazy. "Am I really like that?" I asked myself, and I knew I wasn't.

Despite being in a new environment like SHBS, which was encouraging and inclusive, I still faced many difficulties. A prolonged absence of recognition significantly eroded my self-confidence, so I didn't dare to actively seek opportunities and missed out on many chances to participate in activities and work. I always felt that I wasn't good enough and was afraid to showcase myself, fearing ridicule, even though it never really happened... I realized that breaking through my own cognition was the most difficult part. It was like a thick thorn bush on my life's path, hindering my progress.

Fortunately, I met many teachers who inspired and motivated me, helping me overcome the obstacles that I once thought were insurmountable. I found the subjects I enjoyed, my grades improved, and I seemed to become more cheerful. Among them, Tony, who was also my homeroom teacher at the time, played a crucial role in helping me overcome my internal fears. I used to always avoid moments when many people's attention focused on me, but I was appointed as a class committee member and had to organize activities regularly. At first, I was completely at a loss, but over time, I adapted. Yet, I still feared larger-scale events. Later, I was honored to speak as a student representative, which was also my first time giving a speech. As I stood on the stage, I couldn't stop trembling, trying my best to keep my voice steady. The stage lights were bright, and I couldn't see the faces in the audience. Honestly, I didn't know if they were laughing or not, still I always felt that I wasn't good enough. I was no longer afraid of being watched since then. I repeatedly confirmed my own cognition and discovered that everything wasn't as terrifying as I thought.

Although the process of exploration and breakthroughs was painful, touching the limits of my inner self, going through phases of slacking, being emotional, and anxious, it was only by breaking and rebuilding that I could go further. I used to resent the helping hands pushing me forward from behind, yet I know that without those hands, I wouldn't be who I am today. It was those hands that taught me to take the first step bravely, to not fear the unknown that hadn't happened yet, and to understand that exploration itself is a part of growth.

Time flew by, and I became a student in the 11th grade, seemingly transitioning from the "lower grades" to the second part of high school in an instant, as if someone had pressed the fast-forward button on time. The pressure of this year made me feel uncomfortable all over, with challenges of AP subjects and participation in extracurricular activities, each demanding a lot of my time and energy. I still vividly remember the embarrassment of repeatedly facing exam dates but never achieving satisfactory results, as well as dealing with negative emotions and various social difficulties in life. It felt like the self-confidence I had painstakingly built up was crumbling in each failure and mistake.

The most painful stage, in fact, was the application season of the previous semester. It required writing essays to showcase my strengths, selecting suitable and desirable schools from a large pool, and dealing with my grades that had yet to meet the requirements. These things really overwhelmed me, and there were nights when I wrote essays until I broke down, often wiping away tears in the late hours. I had always resisted literary work and avoided digging into my own shining points because I always felt like I didn't have anything special.

  （格林内尔学院）

When choosing a school, many realistic issues arise: not having good enough grades, not participating in enough activities, performing poorly in interviews, etc. The frequency of disagreements, even arguments, with parents also increases. Parents tend to consider the objective conditions of each school realistically, while my own ideas seem too idealistic. Consequently, I find myself lost among the differing opinions of myself, agencies, schools, and my parents. To achieve my grade targets before the application deadline, I took standardized tests again and again, failing and trying repeatedly, nearly giving up several times.

However, the supportive hands behind me lifted me up time after time, and like winning a lottery, I achieved my ideal scores in the last opportunity. Eventually, I reached an agreement with my parents that a liberal arts college would be a more suitable educational model for me, which wouldn't have been possible without communication between the school's faculty and my parents. Ultimately, with the combined efforts of various parties, I completed all my application tasks and achieved the desired results.

Now, as I look back, the seemingly insurmountable obstacles I once thought were like small slopes. They couldn't determine where I would eventually end up. These small slopes have become stepping stones on my climbing path. I also realize that all stories have their turning points, regardless of whether the outcomes are good or bad. We should firmly focus on the next page that is about to unfold, where there are still infinite possibilities. Before turning that page, never let imagined difficulties hinder you. Sometimes, one's self-perception is like a broken mirror that can only reflect a partial self. The way to truly understand and recognize the complete self is to bravely try and explore.

In this process, I have been fortunate to receive support, help, and understanding from various people. I realize that many people around me genuinely want to assist me. I often think that it is these forces that lift me up when I fall, push me forward when I move slowly, and guide me when I get lost. I have been moving forward standing on their shoulders, even though there may be disagreements along the way. But this is also part of my growth. We need to learn to coordinate and communicate with different backgrounds and perspectives.

Lastly, I would like to say that everyone's journey is unique, so don't be afraid to walk your own path. I wish you all the best in becoming the person you want to be in days to come.